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Ask Chris: 147: The Best Robin Ever

By Chris Sims

Q: Who is or was the best Robin? What is the Best Robin moment in Comic Book History? — @danceformyhorse

A: Here’s a little tidbit that probably won’t shock anybody: I think about the Robins a lot. When you spend around 60% of your waking hours thinking about Batman, it’s sort of inevitable that you’ll eventually get around to his sidekicks, and there’s a lot there to think about. There are a ton of complexities and little bits of subtext with what they bring out of Batman, but in this case, the answer strikes me as a pretty obvious one.

The best Robin is, beyond a shadow of a doubt, Tim Drake. Deal with it, haters.

Don’t get me wrong: It’s not that I don’t like the other Robins at all. I think they’re all really great characters who bring something interesting to the larger mythology of Batman, and I’d even go so far as to say that they’re all necessary for building the version of Batman that we have now. That said, when you look at each of those characters and how they function in their role as Batman’s sidekick — or, to be a little less dismissive, his partner in crime-fighting — Tim’s rank at the top becomes pretty self-evident.

For one thing, he’s the only one of the Robins who’s not, on some level, in it for themselves. All of the others are motivated by very personal reasons. Dick Grayson essentially has the same defining tragedy that Bruce Wayne does, in that he sees his parents murdered in front of him. The only real difference is that it happens in Haley’s Circus instead of Crime Alley, and even that’s really just a convenient reason for him to already have the gymnastic ability to swing around Gotham City without having to go tromping around the world for 20 years like Bruce did. He’s ready to go from the moment he’s introduced, complete with the same sort of training and, more importantly, the same sort of motivation that Batman himself has.

READ MORE.

I’ve always liked Chris Sims. Dude knows what he’s talking about.

Batman what are you even doing? What is that pose?

It’s like he just got a new batsuit and he cannot believe how good he looks in it. And he’s all like:

“Hey, Robin, look at this, check out my abs! Look at that! They look amazing. I feel sooo great. And my thighs! They’re fantastic! I’m gonna flex and do a little pose. Maybe I’ll throw this batarang. I don’t know. Hehehe. Robin, are you even looking?!?!?!”

Happy Father’s Day from Batman, the best/worst Dad ever.

Robin and Nightwing are both in the new season of Young Justice! To celebrate you can check out my new Cracked article where I definitely don’t make them both look like creeps.

[Time to go have some unhealthy relationships.]

Via Cracked: The 6 Creepiest Sexual Encounters in Comic Book History

Excerpt: We may have mentioned a few times how comic books have mastered the art of finding new and creative ways of making sex bizarrely unappealing, even to people who read comic books. Here are some instances of superhero stories aspiring for romance but failing horrifically, like Cupid aiming his bow at a young couple but missing and hitting a choleraic orphan in the face.

An early design by Bruce Wayne himself for Tim Drake’s Robin costume. How did they not use the crotch-arrow redesign in the reboot? How? Everyone knows that all good side-kicks need arrows on them indicating where to kick the shit out of them.

All right people, I’m seriously asking, does anyone actually like Damian, and just WHY??? The little douchetard is the most annoying thing since Jason Todd before he got crowbarred into badassery. He didn’t earn the Robin title, no one wanted him to be Robin, the Batclan was just kind of stuck with him because if they don’t watch him, he’ll kill people and I don’t mean just criminals! Is that what we’re looking for in our heroes these days, people that we keep around just to prevent mass homicide? Aren’t these the kind of people Batman usually makes a point of putting away in prison?

[Just tell me one way this kid isn’t a total asshat. Please.]

Now, logically I know that it’s my intense favoritism towards the Tim Drake Robin that makes me say these hateful things, but I’m okay with that. The Robin title means something to me. I hate that people say Stephanie was a Robin because she wore the outfit for like one issue. That’s bullshit. She auditioned and got fired, she was never officially Robin. Damian is just a little brat who wouldn’t fucking stop wearing the suit until everyone basically just said “fine, let him play”, I can only imagine in the hopes that he would get himself killed in action.

Please tell me people, what’s the appeal? He’s a ten year old egotistical psychopath, who can just barely be trusted not to kill people when unsupervised. Who does this character appeal to? I love many incarnations of Robin, and I can’t stand this guy, and I’m desperate to know why he’s considered a popular character. Why people? Help me understand! Help me douse this burning rage that fills me every time I see a new cover of Batman and Robin come out. Please!

[Seriously!]