Robinmobile
Why the hell didn’t this get used all the time??? It’s badass!!! Is that a cannon?
Okay, someone tell me where the hell this is from. Or even just what is happening? His arms are in these super futuristic shackles but there’s hay on the ground. How does this even happen? Is there a horse being tortured off panel? Did they convert a barn into a spaceship.
Or was this Confessor guys like, “I am going to burn the truth out of you! You will beg for mercy BUT FIND NONE! But first, this ground is really cold so can we get some hay in here. He could catch cold or something guys, use your heads.”
Ask Chris: 147: The Best Robin Ever
By Chris Sims
Q: Who is or was the best Robin? What is the Best Robin moment in Comic Book History? — @danceformyhorse
A: Here’s a little tidbit that probably won’t shock anybody: I think about the Robins a lot. When you spend around 60% of your waking hours thinking about Batman, it’s sort of inevitable that you’ll eventually get around to his sidekicks, and there’s a lot there to think about. There are a ton of complexities and little bits of subtext with what they bring out of Batman, but in this case, the answer strikes me as a pretty obvious one.
The best Robin is, beyond a shadow of a doubt, Tim Drake. Deal with it, haters.
Don’t get me wrong: It’s not that I don’t like the other Robins at all. I think they’re all really great characters who bring something interesting to the larger mythology of Batman, and I’d even go so far as to say that they’re all necessary for building the version of Batman that we have now. That said, when you look at each of those characters and how they function in their role as Batman’s sidekick — or, to be a little less dismissive, his partner in crime-fighting — Tim’s rank at the top becomes pretty self-evident.
For one thing, he’s the only one of the Robins who’s not, on some level, in it for themselves. All of the others are motivated by very personal reasons. Dick Grayson essentially has the same defining tragedy that Bruce Wayne does, in that he sees his parents murdered in front of him. The only real difference is that it happens in Haley’s Circus instead of Crime Alley, and even that’s really just a convenient reason for him to already have the gymnastic ability to swing around Gotham City without having to go tromping around the world for 20 years like Bruce did. He’s ready to go from the moment he’s introduced, complete with the same sort of training and, more importantly, the same sort of motivation that Batman himself has.
READ MORE.
I’ve always liked Chris Sims. Dude knows what he’s talking about.
Batman what are you even doing? What is that pose?
It’s like he just got a new batsuit and he cannot believe how good he looks in it. And he’s all like:
“Hey, Robin, look at this, check out my abs! Look at that! They look amazing. I feel sooo great. And my thighs! They’re fantastic! I’m gonna flex and do a little pose. Maybe I’ll throw this batarang. I don’t know. Hehehe. Robin, are you even looking?!?!?!”
Robins Are Bad At Sex
Robin and Nightwing are both in the new season of Young Justice! To celebrate you can check out my new Cracked article where I definitely don’t make them both look like creeps.
[Time to go have some unhealthy relationships.]
Via Cracked: The 6 Creepiest Sexual Encounters in Comic Book History
Excerpt: We may have mentioned a few times how comic books have mastered the art of finding new and creative ways of making sex bizarrely unappealing, even to people who read comic books. Here are some instances of superhero stories aspiring for romance but failing horrifically, like Cupid aiming his bow at a young couple but missing and hitting a choleraic orphan in the face.
So, what’s to stop this from happening to the real Robin on a nightly basis?
Oh that’s right, absolutely nothing.
An early design by Bruce Wayne himself for Tim Drake’s Robin costume. How did they not use the crotch-arrow redesign in the reboot? How? Everyone knows that all good side-kicks need arrows on them indicating where to kick the shit out of them.
Special Birthday Request
Now, I rarely ask for things of my followers, BUT, today is my birthday and I must rush off to work (boo!). But if anyone out there has some kind of Batman and/or Robin birthday-like icon they could throw my way that would be most amazing and I would display it with pride!
I hopefully await photo replies!
The Amazing Story Behind the Batman Meme
You all know this meme, you can’t have traveled the internet and not come across it’s slaptastic awesomeness.
What you probably don’t know is that the real story behind the panel is perhaps the greatest alternate reality story ever written and needed no photoshopping to become so badass! That story is World’s Finest #153.
In this alternate reality story Batman develops a life long hatred for Superman because he believes Superman killed his father. The rest of his backstory is the same, he is Bruce Wayne and adopts Robin as his sidekick but he is completely obsessed with revenge against Superman. When he tells Robin his plan to kill Superman Robin refuses to go along, which is where we get this now classic image:
Batman’s clearly pretty far gone when he’s getting a moral whiplashing from a 12-year old Robin. Instead of realizing he’s become a monster Batman decides to fire Robin instead of listening to him and then does the most amazing thing of his crime-fighting career.
Batman erases Dick’s memories and then returns him to the orphanage! Robin tries to convince Batman that he’s taking this revenge thing a little far, and this Batman decides his sidekick’s defective and returns him like a broken toaster to a department store.
What’s even better is this one-shot AU story ends with Batman realizing that Lex Luthor killed his father and then Batman dies to save Superman in the end as a redemption thing. Which is a fine way to an end a story like that … except when you realize it means that Robin got left at that orphanage for the rest of his life, with no idea that he used to be a millionaire’s ward or superhero sidekick and probably ended up working at a McDonald’s for the rest of his life or something.
Batman, Super-Asshole Part 2
In our next installment of Batman, Super-Asshole, we find Batman finally getting fed up with the frequency that Robin gets kidnapped and basically tells him he has until the light goes out to get himself free, or he’s just gonna leave his ass there.
—— Another panel from DC’s Super Dictionary that also lacks photoshopping.
