Robinmobile

Why the hell didn’t this get used all the time??? It’s badass!!! Is that a cannon?

Okay, someone tell me where the hell this is from. Or even just what is happening? His arms are in these super futuristic shackles but there’s hay on the ground. How does this even happen? Is there a horse being tortured off panel? Did they convert a barn into a spaceship.

Or was this Confessor guys like, “I am going to burn the truth out of you! You will beg for mercy BUT FIND NONE! But first, this ground is really cold so can we get some hay in here. He could catch cold or something guys, use your heads.”

Happy Father’s Day from Batman, the best/worst Dad ever.

Robin and Nightwing are both in the new season of Young Justice! To celebrate you can check out my new Cracked article where I definitely don’t make them both look like creeps.

[Time to go have some unhealthy relationships.]

Via Cracked: The 6 Creepiest Sexual Encounters in Comic Book History

Excerpt: We may have mentioned a few times how comic books have mastered the art of finding new and creative ways of making sex bizarrely unappealing, even to people who read comic books. Here are some instances of superhero stories aspiring for romance but failing horrifically, like Cupid aiming his bow at a young couple but missing and hitting a choleraic orphan in the face.

Who’s a grump?

You all know this meme, you can’t have traveled the internet and not come across it’s slaptastic awesomeness.

What you probably don’t know is that the real story behind the panel is perhaps the greatest alternate reality story ever written and needed no photoshopping to become so badass! That story is World’s Finest #153.

In this alternate reality story Batman develops a life long hatred for Superman because he believes Superman killed his father. The rest of his backstory is the same, he is Bruce Wayne and adopts Robin as his sidekick but he is completely obsessed with revenge against Superman. When he tells Robin his plan to kill Superman Robin refuses to go along, which is where we get this now classic image:

Batman’s clearly pretty far gone when he’s getting a moral whiplashing from a 12-year old Robin. Instead of realizing he’s become a monster Batman decides to fire Robin instead of listening to him and then does the most amazing thing of his crime-fighting career.

Batman erases Dick’s memories and then returns him to the orphanage! Robin tries to convince Batman that he’s taking this revenge thing a little far, and this Batman decides his sidekick’s defective and returns him like a broken toaster to a department store.

What’s even better is this one-shot AU story ends with Batman realizing that Lex Luthor killed his father and then Batman dies to save Superman in the end as a redemption thing. Which is a fine way to an end a story like that … except when you realize it means that Robin got left at that orphanage for the rest of his life, with no idea that he used to be a millionaire’s ward or superhero sidekick and probably ended up working at a McDonald’s for the rest of his life or something.

In our next installment of Batman, Super-Asshole, we find Batman finally getting fed up with the frequency that Robin gets kidnapped and basically tells him he has until the light goes out to get himself free, or he’s just gonna leave his ass there.

—— Another panel from DC’s Super Dictionary that also lacks photoshopping.

For the love of God Batman, Robin’s just been raped in an alleyway, NO, he can’t get home by himself!

—— A panel from DC’s Super Dictionary that amazingly enough has not been photo-shopped in any way.

Easter is coming, a time for chocolate and most of all, eggs. And as any true Batman fan will tell you, they’re not brought by the Easter Bunny.

Nope, my Easter Eggs come straight from Egghead himself.

And for the ultimate obsessed Egghead lunatic, you can have your own Egghead statue to thoroughly freak out all your guests with your awesomeness:

Not creepy at all.

Happy Easter Week Folks!