Remember the Time Nightcrawler Got Kidnapped by Leprechauns?
Yeah, he doesn’t like to talk about it either.
In honor of St. Patrick’s Day I browsed through my comics to find something appropriate for the occasion and naturally went to my X-Men issues with Banshee (because it’s too easy to make fun of Shamrock) and found this gem from issues 102-104 where the X-Men are in Ireland fighting Black Tom and Juggernaught and, as part of a side-story, find out that Leprechauns are totally real and kind of just never bring it up again, ever.
[Apparently they also get their fashion tips from Peter Pan.]
After getting knocked out during the first fight, Nightcrawler is found by honest to goodness Leprechauns who just happen to live in the castle and come out to see what all the fuss is about upstairs. The Leprechauns decide to kidnap Nightcrawler to save his ass from Juggernaut, which is not an easy task for a race that’s half a foot tall.
[Not one of you can offer a little neck support for the guy with a head injury? Geez, it’s like Leprechauns don’t even get medical training these days.]
Now, if he never regained consciousness or the Leprechauns ran away after saving him, I could forgive the X-Men for never again bringing it up that Leprechauns are real and just chilling in castles in Ireland, BUT, Nightcrawler does wake up and proceeds to save the rest of the X-Men with help from the Leprechauns, who are definitely real and don’t even make any requests like “hey, don’t tell anyone we live here in secret all right” to explain why no one talks about them.
Oh, AND Wolverine meets these tiny little guys who help them out but still nobody ever mentions it again.
[What the hell does a mythical race have to do to impress these guys? Ride in on a rainbow unicorn with Excaliber and the Holy Grail?]
At the end of the story, Juggernaut’s been defeated and we get absolutely no epilogue about what the hell was going on with this whole Leprechaun side-story, they were just kind of there, cause the story was set in Ireland, and I guess no further explanation is needed beyond that.
It’s almost like both Nightcrawler and Wolverine must have assumed they were dreaming because sure, they’re a blue demon teleporter and an immortal with a metal skeleton, but Leprechauns? That’s crazy talk!
1. Nathan Fillion being Nathan Fillion, but also being Green Lantern. 2. Kevin Conroy as Batman, cause he’s the Goddamn Batman. 3. It’s rated PG-13 and earns it like a motherfucker! 4. The Flash making his villains set up his punch lines for him. 5. Based on Tower of Babel, with a twist! 6. Just enough subtle changes to line things up with the New 52 brilliantly! 7. PG-13 guys! 8. Michael Rosenbaum still doing the voice of the Flash even though it’s technically Barry Allen now and not Wally West 9. Batman telling the Justice League they’re all fools, and the League basically having to agree with him. 10. Martian Manhunter re-designed to match his Young Justice look to nicely combine the universes. 11. Did I mention it’s PG-13 and dark as shit? Like, Robin getting beaten to death with a crowbar kind of dark … for the whole movie.
Reasons You Shouldn’t Watch “Justice League: Doom”
You like depriving yourself of awesome things. (You should get that checked out. That’s not normal.)